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Zola's avatar

I received my ms diagnosis in the post, the week before Christmas, 2019. I have yet to come face to face with a neurologist. When I get a letter in the post now that isn't clearly marked on the outside, or indeed is marked as from the hospital, I get the most horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and my hands start to tremble.

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Sarah's avatar

I found the leadup to my diagnosis quite traumatic. I was seen at three different hospitals. At the first, a consultant I saw was quite jolly and put me at ease. The next time I went, post-MRI I saw a registrar who did his best to frighten the life out of me. He listed a host of symptoms (which I now know would indicate Uthoff's) and didn't believe me when I said I had none of them. He said "this is very serious" and showed me my lesion-riddled brain. I didn't want to cry in front of this horrible man so I saved it until I got home. A friend was staying with me and thank goodness she was. She calmed me down and told me of an aunt who has MS and is fine.

It was a few more years and a few more relapses before I was diagnosed with "probable MS" at a different hospital but because "we don't do MS here" (it was the only hospital in London my GP could refer me to) he booked me another MRI and a referral to Queen Square. I liked him and by that point of course there were no surprises left, I was just desperate to be diagnosed.

I was treated very well at Queen Square too. Very textbook, with a registrar taking a full case history without mentioning MS before wheeling the consultant in to deliver the news.

But it was on the other side of Queen Square that I had that first MRI. I remember needing to go to Queen Square for work once in that limbo time and completely breaking down.

I work with people. I'm used to dealing with them. To someone like me it feels like my job is easy, and customer care shouldn't be hard. But watching colleagues deal with customers I can see it's not a talent everyone possesses. And it's the same with bedside manner. I wish I had never met that awful doctor.

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